Calling Rod Serling!

You LANDED? How did you do that? I’m jealous.

To clarify, I’m dropped from about 30000 feet and my fins spin me round so fast I can hardly keep up.

Inevitably I crash head first into the ground and explode like I had a ton of Torpex packed around me.

I wonder if this is the well-documented flaps issue. No matter what I try, it has the same outcome. Perhaps if my aircraft wasn’t toroedo-shaped and nose heavy I could fly instead of plummeting.

A friend of mine had a similar problem except he’d bounce over the water and hit a brick wall before exploding.

What could we be doing wrong? Any help gratefully received.