I just crashed into another plane while bein pushbacked cause i could not stop the pushback since atc was busy talking to other planes. Can i deactivate it and priorize myself so that i can talk to ATC when i want resp. i need to?
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I think you can key-bind pushback start/stop, maybe that will override ATC??
Or turn down the traffic setting maybe.
If i turn it down can i still communicate with ATC?
Yes you can set traffic to zero and still use ATC
But then there is no traffic at the airport right? How will pilots handle this in reality?
You are not talking to ground or tower for a pushback operations. This is only MSFS thing. You call and ask for pushback and start approval once obtained from ATC then you coordinate everything with a ground service. You call ground again once ready for a taxi. Try pushback toolbar addon is really good for a handling pushbacks in some realistic way. In terms of busy ATC irl or network you just wait and wait and once channel is free and you express your request you will hear “callsign standby” and you go back to waiting 
But when the tower speaks to other pilots i cannot use pushback commands since they are greyed out.
Yeah that I said you can try pushback toolbar addon or simply I think is CRTL+P to start pushback. Default ATC doesn’t have pushback call FSHud does it. Using default fs pushback functionality is massive pain. Is not realistic and you have a problems like yours that before you change direction or stop tug they will push you to other town.
Personal Comments and Observations
The keyboard shortcut to request a pushback without radio interaction is SHIFT-P.
This will happen regardless of whether there is a tug available / visible / present.
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