I often see double the RAM usage in MSFS2024 as I do in MSFS using the same settings, aircraft and scenery, and often go over the 32gb I have. In fact I have seen it go as high as 47gb using the DEV FPS screen.
Sometimes I can max out my VRAM. But that depends on settings, scenery, and aircraft. I have a 4080 Super. As you have noticed many with 4090’s are also having VRAM issues even with conservative settings.
Since the VRAM thread has been bug logged Asobo must know there are memory management issues. I am hopeful those will be sorted out eventually.