Guys.. Just for some light hearted fun, no offence to anyone.. especially Quantas 
Mods.. Feel free to remove if it violates CoC.
But we all need a smile every now and then
Mind you this is an old one that has been around on the 'net for awhile now.
After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet,
which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics
correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots
review the gripe sheets before the next flight . . .
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some
actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantasā pilots and the solutions
recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Quantas is the only major
airline that has never had an accident.
(P= The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S= The solution and action taken by mechanics.)
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: Thatās what theyāre for.
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect youāre right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding
on something with a hammer.
S:Took hammer away from midget
