Good question. Not really sure on the answer. I’d assume it’s a mix of time, skills, and maybe experience with real planes? Who knows. I just like flying on the sim cause it’s relaxing. It also keeps my girlfriend off of me cause she knows where I’m at 98% of the day. lol.
Anyone remember the Richard Dreyfuss character’s compulsion building a potato mountain in the movie Encounters of the Third Kind? That might be similar to what serious flight simmers go through wanting to build a full size cockpit in the living room.
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I think that the bar could be: How much money it takes to maximize the amount of time invested to achieve maximum satisfaction per dollar spent vs. hour played, added bonus for actually downloading pilot manuals (and actually reading them) for the planes you fly in simulation. Reaching extremism is when you wear a flight suit or helmet, or if flying a passenger jet, a suit and tie, with your captain hat on.
And then compare that to what it would cost you to upkeep a real GA plane for a hundred flying hours … and still want to fly anything that had wings.
With an A-grade detergent and at least 60 ºC water temperature just to clean your pants after you bought the farm as a result of a failed spin recovery 
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I actually did that back in 2004 when I interviewed for my first job in the IT industry 
But I have never considered myself a “serious simmer”. Most of the time I start my flight on the runway, with the engine running, because I want to fly!!!
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People like those in the audience which the sim was originally marketed to before release
Serious simmers expect realism and accuracy to be the top priority. You can sim casually with or without this, but not the other way around.
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Single or divorced!
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To be a true serious simmer, you must establish yourself as a man of much aeronautical knowledge. For example, if players are praising the latest addon aircraft’s great 3D model & textures, you must step in and remind everybody that planes with great models & textures can’t possibly have a good flight model, and inform them that you will not be buying said plane, while shaming them all for their ridiculous purchase decision. Calling them names, like ‘casual’ or ‘gamer’ helps to further elevate your own status as ‘serious simmer’.
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A serious simmer dreams of the day they are sitting on a flight to their holiday destination when the steward announces on the tannoy “Do we have a pilot on board?” and they say “Not exactly a pilot but I do have 500 hours on FS2020. Step aside”
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There’s a joke in here somewhere isn’t there? You know those one liners, “Serious Simmers do it with…”
I’ll get the ball rolling with a few:
Serious Simmers do it with…joysticks
Serious Simmers do it whilst counting rivets (sorry, I cheated there)
Serious Simmers do it with…steam gauges
Serious Simmers do it with…a sim and not a game
Serious Simmers do it with…realism
Serious Simmers do it with…an elitist attitude
Serious Simmers do it with…a navigation chart
This could run and run…
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Are you serious?
Seriously… 
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The problem in “serious simming” is: Why wasting the good mood and mix the good things of flying with annoying and bad “too reality-conform” things?
I would never switch on that annoying ATC because the destination airport is set in the GTN750 anyway and after take-off I fly wherever I want and as high or deep as I want…
And not “climb to 12.000 and fly vector…” and constant climbing and descending orders and follow vector -orders, and three hours of circling above the blocked runway until ATC gives clearence.
The phrase “ATC services terminated” is always a good start because none of these radio panels seem to have an on-off button (but I am sure a real Cessna radio panel can be switched off!).
I would love to discuss philosophical and other interesting topics with ATC instead of constantly getting vectors and heights, but because this wish will never be fulfilled well radio → off and some good YouTube audiobooks or Creepy Pastas on instead.
This is not realistic and a real hardcore-simmer would never do this, but do every flight exactly by the book instead and constantly do and fly exactly like ATC is telling them to fly.
But like I said, why mixing the good things with bad things?
Imagine playing a car game… do you want a racing game that is dedicated to pure offroad like Snow Runner, or dedicated to speed and supercars and racing and car engineering and engine tuning and driveshaft tuning and aerodynamics and driving physics, or a boring citystreets-and-correct-parking bus driving simulator followed by a traffic signs & crossroads & traffic light & traffic rules riddle every ten minutes? 
Hm this was maybe not the best example because car racing games are the purest arcade fun while a flight sim should still be as realistic as possible flight-dynamics and physics-wise and giving the most sophisticated detailed cockpit and technical challenges - but you know what I mean 
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Real simmers eat these:
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Yes, hahah 
Isn’t it nice how we are allowed to make fun of this one group? Now try doing the same to the other side…
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Serious simmers are simming seriously, I guess
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Seriously!
It’s a chill zone away from reality, visit the world hold on tight faster this time round , when I deck out , reset let it go (frozen) gal!!!
A gamer who think he/she can lands a real a320
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Has all the gear, three screens, goes to the expos and or watches livestreams twitch lives on avsim/3rd party forums etc etcccc
My earlier reply was a bit flippant so I’ll give it another go.
What is play?
It’s very important to higher forms of life particularly mammals (which include primates). It’s the activity that is best suited to learning. The fun is what motivates us to do it and motivations are what drive us forward. We learn and perform best if we enjoy what we are doing, enjoyment means pleasure, satisfaction and fulfilment, fun…how serious is that?
A game is a structured activity with rules for achieving all of the above…MSFS fits the definition of a game perfectly. We have fun and learn in a structured way. In many games there is also a social element.
What’s the difference between flying R/L and MSFS?
What makes R/L flying serious is the responsibilities for life and limb, your own and others. We have to take aspects of it seriously (unless we are sociopaths). In MSFS you can do what the hell you like while you learn.
A flight sim does not simulate those responsibilities, it can’t. We can role play of course, we can pretend that we have that burden but ultimately its an illusion.
So please take your need to play games seriously, it’s important for quality of life. Give yourself permission to play games and have fun, they are fundamental to our wellbeing and progress.
Edit for spelling and Edit in italic
For role play here’s an idea for Asobo. How about the ability in the sim to paste pictures (Bitmap, JPG or whatever) of our family onto the faces of passengers.
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A good summary however I must point out that it is “Role Play” not Roll. I am a serious speller.